Something about Stark that you become acquainted with the more you hang around here, is that it’s not just about skincare. It’s a lot about self-care; how we treat ourselves from the inside out, head to toe (did you get The Love Ritual in my last newsletter?). I’ve also talked about the importance of investing in yourself, after I made the ballsy (for me) move of signing up for a big coaching program.
So Adri and I were just taking a shower (too much info? Hey, we’re all adults here!) and I was telling him that I thought it was high time we splurge on some artisanal soap as a nice treat. He agreed that the little gift would be appreciated. By us. Because we like getting treats (who doesn’t?).
Then he said something interesting, which he tends to do quite often:
“I like the idea of thinking ‘Hey, future me will really like this gift, I’ll buy this for me.’”
Which actually doesn’t seem so compelling now that I type it out, but I actually do think it’s important (and reminds me of that book, Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert). We often buy gifts for others, anticipating how much they will love the item, but often we buy things for ourself based on immediate needs, and instant gratification. I think this can lead to buyer’s remorse, more often than not, which kind of ruins the whole purpose.
I used to be a huge pharmacy rat. I would buy so many skincare items –masks, serums, hair junk, cheap nail polish, you name it- out of pure boredom. I never needed it, and it was always impulsive. I wanted that feeling of treating myself to a little something nice, but I would leave with $60 of garbage. Instead of spending $15 on some handmade, beautiful soap, or $60 on something else handmade (or at least quality!), I would just get all this stupid goo that I never loved or felt was lovin’ me back. Yes, handmade things love you back! You’ll just have to trust me on this one.
So, how about instead of classic retail therapy, we order ourselves nice treats online*, and patiently wait for our goodies to come to we can delay that gratification, open up that little gift and feel happiness, instead of that weird, empty, post-shopping burnout.
*So, I’m a little biased to online shopping for 3 reasons.
1. I sell things online, duh.
2. I like the comfort of shopping from home, and really appreciate what it takes for other online retailers to create a really good online shopping experience.
3. The delayed gratification, and getting that parcel in the mail! I l-o-v-e it SO much. I’ve never jumped around gleefully after leaving a store with a shirt, but I have done that after receiving items in the mail.
I highly recommend Etsy for self-gifts. Stark has its roots on Etsy, and I love the community vibe it has. There’s some amazing artists who love the work they sell, and take a lot of pride in delivering a gift to you. You’ll find everything from silkscreened scarves, to pottery, to yummy artisanal tea and amazing purses and jewellery. And yes, artisanal soap!
Now, don’t go blow a whole paycheck, but gift your future self a little treat that will put a smile on her pretty face.